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Offline ruredernot32

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05/13/08
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Regarding Black and White



These tribes of thought
gathering tracks of non-compliance

this hardware-brain that
racks pins waiting on a roll

these wars that internalize
their every battle

in the space between
the filters of swift change


This discomfort born of silence
that makes love to all my fear

here below the hollow moons
that tide my changing mind

where the smiles are quite
forced and low rewarding

when the phony rises from
the ego ashes of refrain



Before I dance around the daylight

then succumb again to night


The flowers of my dreams,
oh how they die forever slowly

though their beauty got me
through some blazing storms

how the children smile
when I so gladly greet them

not knowing of the gifts
returned to me and more



And when in my silence
I declare that I am shameful

for compulsions that
have led me fast astray

when I am drawn unto
my knees seeking deliverance

may the spirit of my God
forgive my impulsed way



As I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night


When the fog is lifted
without a good intention

when the path leads me
to another shade of black

may I pay my penance
in the honesty of shame

until my will returns
to lift me once again



And in my travels may
I one day hold the sun

just long enough
to know I've gone too far

for freedom as it
leads to satisfaction

should by all accounts
reciprocate itself



When I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night


In the hollows where I parade
unfit, so unknowing

in the vestibules
between the driving rain

may I sense the beauty
of a fragile moment

enough to know the
worthiness of light



And when I sleep I pray
that I will find tomorrow's journey

to be the beggar of
still better things to come

so that the love of life
still burning here inside me

leads me to a peaceful death
when I am done



When I no longer need the daylight
when I fade forever in the night


ajs


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Transformation






I.

In the piercing heat
of the unfolding day
we set sails for Avalon.




Guided by winds we
tested our fate, proving
it was fragile in the
desperate side-by-side
of our changing lives.




In the unrelenting fury of fiery dreams,
we fought recklessly with our thoughts
of salt and the hunger it ignites.





With a blank stare you spoke
of Nostradamus, defending his wrongs,
protecting his rights, I moved on to
Socrates and Skinner, where I survive
despite myself, somewhere in-between
my own beliefs and what I sell myself.





When the crust of fear owned our faces
when the residence of death arrived
with cracked-thunder we proclaimed
it was this life we so despised
we surmised it was enough
to explain the every single thing
that danced around our darkness,
until it was our EVERY THING.




THEN:




In the kinetic flow of the "I" of a hurricane,
the calm was achieved with the tilt of a sail
a different view of the same day, like a persistent
sun, shining through a fog-filled memory,
we danced upon our past, splashing champagne
in celebration, we realized at once that love
for us was meant for more than just one life.




When the tail swept us from our peace
we beckoned God, all the Gods that
anyone has ever faith..ed, then we
rocked, we rocked the sea with the
clear evidence of fearless children.
As your iridescent eyes held my gaze.




My last thought before the passing
of the storm, with the rebirth of
the golden sun was of you,
you, in your summer smock,
wind-blown hair like a horsetail
black as an eclipse, you tied
lines as I lusted for a final taste
of the skin beneath the cotton
bronzed and shining,
I praised God for
our survival.





We danced to avoid eye contact
I couldn't take the heat behind
your stare, we imprinted ourselves
on each other as I quieted you
with the joining of our lips.





II.

Years Later:




I was thinking about some slut
I met in Austin, how she did me
how I never forgot that hour
how often I've visited it
in frail lonely moments, that
suddenly turned horny.





How I knew I could never
love a whore for more than
one explosion and yet
cannot forget her for
a lifetime.




It's the irony I keep,
this place that makes it all OK.
I push it aside and reach
for the chardonnay, chuckling
to myself about the speed of
those hips, the look in the eyes
of a woman who knew what
time was for.




It's all about being honest,
isn't it? this muse that runs through
hot blue veins to fingertips
that tap their blues until
the final sigh.




This second chance to live again
here, with my pen I write of her.




Once death is close enough
to feel, to taste, to touch, speaking
a mind seems hardly a struggle at all.



ajs






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I Walk in Wilds at Times Mindless

in this short order cook world of show and tell

On the corner of Killdaddy Rd.
three young rabbits freeze
to the sound of an oncoming car.

they've survived
by getting laid a lot
life boils down to math.

My friend just had her hair done
recolored, she took the red out
though, her heart still burns complete.

He is standing on the sidelines
thinking he's got it all figured out
funny how the dance goes on
behind the scenes of dysfunction.

I speak my mind
my mind speaks ME
together we confuse ourselves
but we make up for all of that;

we laugh at the same jokes



ajs
image
Two Guitars




Last I saw you
we were in the North Woods
guitars in hand
searching for that place
in the music
where the harmony resides

Travelling down the highway
of notes and chords
from opposite directions
you on the stretched octive
hanging on the last note
of a chromatic scale
me in the ninths
slipping in the bass line
from below

Until we met in that cheerished space
that place all artists search for
but seldom find

All the talking around us stopped
above the campfire we took off
like eagles riding thermals
we sailed above the cliff-tops
until our instincts brought us down

The fire of that night has never died
I took it with me, it burns in my fingertips
bringing energy to my tired limbs
it burns in my soul demanding attention
reminding me of the reasons I still play

For me, for you, for her, and yes
even for the drunks who are still calling out

"Hey do you know Free Bird?"

I tell them I do
but I only played it once
in the forrest
near a campfire
above the cliffs

.....and it had nothing to do
with leaving here tomorrow


ajs



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Contrary to Popular Opinion


Once--------
with a deep seated conviction

that of Barnum, Caesar,
or their enemies

I set about a show
in rings, hoping

Gloria would be
amongst the crowd

entertained by the way
I jumped
through hoops;
out past the gardenias

over fences beyond
the mount where

the sea faces
a quick death before it

undertows then rushes
back to black.


We are still prisoners
of broken dreams

our rocking horses
long discarded, we wet

our nights in carnal desires,
while our children

visit Mr. Internet,
all dressed up
and waiting

to take them on a
cyber ride for life.


I remember Gloria well,
she was the one who

never needed any more
attention than she got

she was always busy
smiling back at the sun

wearing her sister's
hand-me-downs, skipping

home from school
whistling to a Monkey's song

something about
a Pleasant Valley Sunday.


I hear she has a house
up in Short Hills now

they tell me there
are rainbows there each day

I'd guess she loves the butterflies
that dance
about her garden
just beyond her reach.


But, nothing is what we
would like to think it is

there is always something else
behind the door

tonight I shall go
down to the sea
I'll be there on the sand
contemplating
the man who chose
to tame the elephants

instead of studying
the space between the planets

or, the time it takes
to make a man from boy




ajs


image
Adirondack Angling

Here in the Venice lounge
we have no lagoons
we have no gondolas,
mountains and lakes
are plenty
they silver Sunday afternoons
framed by green grass
it rises up towards Placid,
where the snow caps into June.

We live in the nub of days,
center staged in a cloud's wink
sliding into serpentine streets
and dangerous driveways
that lead to hammocks
and hell raisers, feeding hounds
that roam fence free along the shore
licking life in tail wags.


There is no clear conversation
at the morning diner just
updates on where the fish are,
obituaries and announcements
no hustle to hassle the soul,
you might think we are sleep walking
our world is an oblique obsession
where life itself is just that.

In an old Adirondack chair
Charley Yeaton blows smoke rings
from a hand carved pipe,
they expand and then distort,
resembling his stories drawn
from memories of nicks and cuts,
there's rainbow trout on the grill
enough for spitting bones
when the beer runs out
we fade away into
camouflaged cabins.

Nothing much has changed here
since I read my history book
all the world's still an apple pie
when seen through Rockwell eyes,
someday we might regress
and allow a corporate park
all the city folk will come
to fill up cubicles
as motor boats
pollute the lakes,
but for now my friend Jonathan
still puts on his jeans
and carries his canoe
down the winding path whistling,
before he disappears
into a 1950's dream.


ajs


Small HTML Block 1

Spilling The Ink


Listen to the Children



They speak mind speak

of things that ring or sing

before they have enough

of each other

then fists fly

or feet stomp

and they are done


Listen to the children

they have their needs

sweets and treats

and dirty socks

but give them love

and they receive it

look into their eyes

and they believe it

give them hope

and don't betray them

Listen, oh listen,

to the children

ajs



Resurrection


I tracked your tears
from Bolivia to Brazil
they wet my jungle mind
ablaze in passion
your temple tongue
that whispered from the heaven's
a melodic dance of freedom
expanding even the night sky

I twirl you around my nights now
in dreams of rushing rivers
I am your white water
after the storm
heading to the sea
where I will find you
sitting soft upon the high chair
of a crescent moon

ajs

Bad Timing


I have set my sights
outside of your
kaleidoscopes

where the colors blend
from black to better
with a twist of a wrist

white is always loud
against the dark

before it all fades to blue
warped in the deluge
of a thousand
misunderstandings

you stand misunderstood
i stand here
wondering
why


ajs


The Space Between You and I


I have felt the world explode between my fingers
the past participles of lost generations
dreamers, scheemers and mindless thieves

Saran, Sir Han. Sir Hand--------


me something more
than a timeless masquerade.


I have called lost souls to my trumpet
in the gathering of ages
silver coated and well spent,
depicted the lost movies
of gray screen days.







You don't get me here with spaces.


The Space Between You and I



I'm fine with you
and (eye)

lost between two mirrors
walls away from giving in

maybe it's the space we keep
that leads us to a queer profound??

Take the highway
there is a map
to lead you ---------------------- any where.

Still,
nowhere is the space


we keep

when life becomes a lie

ajs


Homeroom

Mrs Clauson knew of things
things that make us better
all in time, in due time
after sunsets when the quiet comes
we need only ourselves to find sleep

I was never lonely, it is a strange feeling
something like total darkness in the light of day
I'm not comfortable with passion prisons
I prefer the look in HER eyes
its been there since I was a boy
always deep, always real

I remember how Mrs. Clauson
would speak of my future
she made me feel larger than I was
she warned me of traps
the obstacles of bad choices
how one turn can change a life

Funny how she came to me tonight
dressed in angels wings
a soft smile, then a head nod
....I knew that I'd be fine


ajs




Sweet Descent


She tempts the timid in me
that hides behind stained glass
my warrior front a means of protection
no defense against the
screaming truth of lust
it vibrates my soul
to remind me
that I am a man
removed from caves
still ready to dip
into her honey nest
as the lore of ages
speaks to me waist high
I explode into
an epiphany of moans
that turns to grunts until
my brow dots in beads of sweat

I release the energies of men
who never danced enough to know
the sweetness of her peach
or the essence of a final sigh
after the body shakes out of control.

ajs



image


Yin & Yang

waves roll to shore

foaming water kisses sand

opposites attract

ajs



Toy Soldiers


Fresh,
a slip of tongue
an adolescent impulse.
Later he will learn not
to say what he means,
when he dims to mellow.

Tough,
he'll learn to be
a remnant of himself.
He'll carve days of dollars
they'll rise and fall,
sink or swim.

Later,
he will gaze
at the slip curl of
a summer moon
thinking of lead
army men, and G.I. Joe.

June,
such a lovely month
for a man to be born,
again, and again,
dying in-between
each blink of sun.

Stranger,
what kind are you
Gray or blue?
I'd really like to know
if you ever won
at Stratego.

Before,
we begin our dance
of words and impressions,
here beside the middle-age
of life, still taking sides
and building walls.

Tomorrow,
you may find me
beside a hemlock
picking small cones
for a Marigold potpourri
no less, or more a man.

Until,
that day arrives
we guard ourselves
enough to be at ease
to give each other
what we plan.

Free,
Is a large word
it comes in moments
when the soul is loud,
then quietly slips away
hanging just beyond
our reach.

Me,
I chose the ones
in the prone position
blue, they fought at rest
hidden in the black grass
bullets whizzing by.

ajs
April, 1999


My Poetry and Photography


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The Aftermath

I wake in waters of words
in waves that roll over my fears
all my doubts delivered

no pretense, or pretending
the chaotic chisel of
my hammering head

speaking five languages at once
each one right though not righteous

all the world at pause
I see you in the doorway of dreams
your face distorted
your heart on the floor

I am not broken
I am bruised
there is a sea
awaiting my arrival

the waves shall roll me into the rising sun
where the peach of my longings
will paint my face enough
for me to laugh again

belly driven
out loud

ajs

image


"Over Hills to Pastel Meadows"

Once before a break of day
when in the silence of a stored cache
there upon my memories ladder
one ring above a thought came after
what was once as fine as lace
now lay defeated and disgraced
time alone tells tales that ail
in winds on shores and tears of shale
they echo off the Cliffs of Dover
to be a man now twice passed over
yet a purpose more than chains to bind
can set a man to see once blind
so with the rising sun's new light
I curse the day dreams fell from sight

A tick of time meant so much more
than the clicking of a closing door
for what becomes of what is gone
leaves a man no choice but
to move on

there before the break of day
eagles wake as children play
as stars fade slowly to blue skies
I find them twinkling in her eyes
her wish for love that would last
before the deluge's aftermath
for my dear now defined

you have at last escaped my mind



and travel down this road of life
should I be alone or with a wife
I shall think of her and often do
in pastel shades of green and blue
I have come to bare the bitter calls
of restless souls in nameless halls
always is my will to change aheart
that gives its way to rage
the knaves that dance
to and fro behind the glass
of ebbs and flow
shall not defeat a day at hand,
so long as I am my own man

I know not of the journey's worth
or why it is I was birthed
I have no will to go back in time
for what is hers is not mine

I break my bread here today

goodbye to winds of yesterday
I breathe free air then travel on
one more dream to be bygone
with the calling of my own true heart
I wish her well, then depart
the night falls down

in blues and blacks

never meant
for coming back

no, never meant
for coming back

ajs


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Muse Mongers

ruredernot32 presents 168 Pigeons, Pals, Princes, Pioneers, Poets and Women Who Make the World Go 'Round

Let it Go Let it Flow

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let it go let it flow

  1. avatar

    TagginBabs

    User Infostatus offline1502 Kudos

    11/08/09

    image

    Thanks for the kudo, have a wonderful Sunday!


    Original comment »
  2. avatar

    MysticWings575

    User Infostatus offline525 Kudos

    11/03/09

    love you too andy hugs

    Original comment »
  3. avatar

    MattNJake1

    User Infostatus offline2434 Kudos

    11/03/09

    *LOVE AND HUGS* to you too, Andy.
    Original comment »
  4. 11/01/09

    11/01/09

    Reply from ruredernot32:

    Hi Madame Feline
    You wonderful creation
    of God -- Yes, had a bad
    accident will PM you time
    to catch up a bit - miss ya!
    Hope this finds you with
    a smile --
    zoooooooooooom
  5. avatar

    Carja

    User Infostatus offline3070 Kudos

    11/01/09

    morningsun-1.jpg picture by carolyn11
    Picture6.png sent picture by carolyn11
  6. avatar

    TagginBabs

    User Infostatus offline1502 Kudos

    11/01/09


  7. avatar

    tutter1234

    User Infostatus offline1666 Kudos

    10/31/09

    Thank you so much for stopping by!
    Take care you won't get bitten and have a great halloween weekend! image

    image
    Original comment »
  8. avatar

    SultryMinx

    User Infostatus offline99 Kudos

    10/30/09

    Hi Andy! Hope all is well with you too. Love reading your poetry again. I have to be careful with that skirt, it gets me into trouble.
    Original comment »
  9. avatar

    Poet In Pink

    User Infostatus offline552 Kudos

    10/29/09

    HI ANDY PANDY =) HOPE LIFE HAS BEEN TREATIN' YOU GOOD =)

    image

    11/02/09

    Reply from ruredernot32:

    Hi Teacher that was
    so cool to see your
    smiling face on that
    card today. Hope
    you are well
    superstar!
    hugs- andy
  10. avatar

    songs

    User Infostatus offline966 Kudos

    10/29/09

    Happy Thursday
    akelsospook1.png picture by song_2007
  11. avatar

    VellaBug

    User Infostatus online3158 Kudos

    10/28/09

  12. avatar

    Tweetz

    User Infostatus offline759 Kudos

    10/28/09

    Just stopping by to leave you a kudo :-)
  13. avatar

    DollyB

    User Infostatus offline825 Kudos

    10/28/09

    Kudos. Photobucket
  14. avatar

    MattNJake1

    User Infostatus offline2434 Kudos

    10/27/09

    Love you too, Andy. *Hugs*
    Original comment »
  15. avatar

    LadyRaine

    User Infostatus offline723 Kudos

    10/27/09

  16. avatar

    MattNJake1

    User Infostatus offline2434 Kudos

    10/27/09

    Thanks Andy. You too. *Hugs*
    Original comment »
  17. 10/26/09

    Wall up.............
    Original comment »
  18. 10/24/09

    Hiya Andy!!!!!!

    image
  19. avatar

    MattNJake1

    User Infostatus offline2434 Kudos

    10/24/09

    Thanks Andy. *Hugs*
    Original comment »

    10/27/09

    Reply from ruredernot32:

    Morning Superstar'
    Hope You have a
    great day.
  20. avatar

    MattNJake1

    User Infostatus offline2434 Kudos

    10/23/09

    Have a great weekend! *Hugs and love*

    image

    10/24/09

    Reply from ruredernot32:

    thanks steph and the same to you
    love and hugs
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My Hobbies

Licking noodles off of cherry strings.

Playing Golf with a Beach Ball in the rain.

Juggling lettuce heads in the shower.

Wrestling with my cat Turbo.

Trying to figure out why fat, old, bald, men hate me.

Hallowing in the hollows of a hurried hurricane

Studying the ups and downs of posterior hemisphere shifts

Looking for a laughs in the legions of letters I never wrote