ruredernot32
- Gender: Male
- Location: NY US
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Side Show
Sun fades between clouds
splintered light paints shadows
I am twelve feet tall
Personal Revelations # 6
I bit the dust of day down hard
as the fenders of my auto pilot body
defended my frail emotions
sailing into the abyss of a starless night.
I trust the sun to light the moon
the moon to further sail my soul
I am a fallen star now humbled
in the penance of my loss.
I flip pancake days
into grilled imperfections
the syrup of my blood
is teared stained memories
warped in a timeless battle
of a restless warriors soul.
Unguarded, I sail
the churning seas of no denial
into the vortex of sleepless hours
where the union of my trinity
embellishes cloudless rain.
I am Jupiter rung and ready
I am Venus dressed in light
I am the red of Mars
the dried river beds
of her ancient past.
You are the infinity
I shall never keep
staring in my daydreams
here on a lonely corner
pigeons dart to and fro
pecking breadcrumbs
off the cracked sidewalks
of these decaying streets.
I dress the day in great defiance
I am a pilgrim marching on
in the path-less dark of night
I sense the next step
beyond the bind
into the blind.
Let my senses lead me on
further into this space
until at last I discover
if the burdens I have carried
have all been whitewashed nightmares-----
or, just a belated realization
of a single life-long dream come true.
ajs
Burying the Sword
until it's placed in front of me
seldom do we envy that which
our pondering eyes have yet to see
In the seven dreams of Lad and Dad
dating back to my youthful chimes
I thought in time all would be fine
he was of another state of mind
Bricks to dust as time will pardon
man for mistakes along the way
but once denied denying gains some
itself becomes a game to play
Over hedgerows my leaps and falls
my conduct bad at times of course
though guilt itself has bound my heart
no choice upon me has been forced
Each day death knocks upon a door
unknowingly at times to call
us to dust as bricks the same
it's only life friends after all
I tend the hoe in vital soil
faith the fall brings just reward
I shall concentrate on my garden
For never fed was I by sword
So be told the time I keep
will lead me further on to rest
my only hope is that you find
I never cared to pass your test
ajs
Pig Pens and Playgrounds
I scribe the scribble
the station of nations
my heart crosses lines
of feathered clouds
to dot the day
with wolf howls
native dances,
fast feet flopped
flaming, in the frenetic
fields of promise
where the only glory
is the sun in a sky
of no ceiling
always calling
always healing
forever feeling
raining down on me
all that reigns for a short time
day tripping on bad dreams
dished out and delivered
talking with an upside down tongue
I see the world
as a slobbered bath
where word bombs
short circuit good intentions
I build roads removing rocks
piled high along the banks
another fence
another claim
of contradiction
I scream inside
this skin hungry
for freedom
somewhere past
the fight of each day
past the lies
of losers lost
in local lunacy
their faces stuck
to the ugly news of sirens
someone hurting
more than them
seems to bring
some queer satisfaction
something bigger
than surrender and a sigh
my name is Andy
how is my assonance?
check my bell weather well
I weep in the wind,
I cry in my cave
I love in my loss
I see all things good and bad
it's the processing
that pulls me into pig pens
of mud and madness
until I howl back
at the moon,
raise my hands
up to the stars,
lift my heart up
to the heavens,
push my pen
into a poem,
....as all the world
becomes a playground
once again.
ajs
Photography of ajs
copyright protected.
copyright protected.
"Sunburst"
Honey Drunk
in the catechismal claims
of your revelations
you are a vibrant lover
unhinged, as free
as fast water
we dance on cloud puffs
love is light in trust
unprotected
in the gold glory
of a new dawn
in the catechismal claims
of your revelations
you are a vibrant lover
unhinged, as free
as fast water
we dance on cloud puffs
love is light in trust
unprotected
in the gold glory
of a new dawn
ajs
08
08
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Interesting facts about me
My media
Go ahead take the ride I dare you.
Muse Mongers
ruredernot32 presents 134 Pigeons, Pals, Princes, Pioneers, Poets and Women Who Make the World Go 'Round
My Poetry
Three Women in Six Parts
Part 1.
I tossed the day away
Yeaton's farm a memory
of waving corn
soft hill grassess
the bent barn
red in a gold sun
but, it is your eyes
that still live in me
I see them blink
as the river bleeds
one slow turn at a time
as the fog lifts
giving way to a new day
as the clock ticks
me towards a dreamy midnight
I am still drunk
with love for you
the soft curves of your frame
the tilted-head racoon look
when I questioned your honesty
the way you moved to the music
the whispers of your soul
long after you have
faded from my sight.
Part II.
High cubes reflecting particles
sandwashed thoughts----- frayed
over and over
thoughts of city streets
caught in the grout lines
of aging bricks, swaying
two feet on top
whining down below
it's all dying -------a little more each day
except for new creations
they live until their soul-spin slows
these sun-lit dreams that find me
a mind willing to sacrifice
to chase it, rather than bury it
in sad excuses------ salt-splilt
later from tear-drop eyes
these hills are MINE
I chose to climb the small ones first
to keep the sun in sight
I learned,
the sun itself is not enough
I need the darkness now
to appreciate the light
I need the challenge
to appreciate the journey
I need to know satisfaction
is temporary
that the evidence of life
is in the effort and communion
it takes to birth
a rising sun
then,
to find a smile on a strangers face
I travel,
over the small hills,
to pouched valleys
that lead to great mountains
before they slide down
towards a roaring sea
the sea itself leads
to another land
it rises slowly
towards another mountain
there is no flatland
that remains flat forever
there is no mountain
standing still
we are all in motion,
RISE UP!
Part III.
I sung in time to space
and space in time to me
outstretched hands
some water bath
in the dryness of an
August Sun
I was drenched with love
enough to think
dancing Raisins were funny
"Bang a Gong-Or Spill the Wine"
"Dig that Girl"
...........................and the band played on!
We are incorporated by this country
tax producing numbers
pumping our way to some
irrelivent death
I'm OK with that
we are all irrelivent eventually
But now I want to play your cymbals
ring your midnights in
with the soft caress of my hand
Before I become primitive again
and take you
only where you want to go
but, could never ask
It's not a pardon I am here for
I am guilty of too many celebrations
When I feel pain
when I surrender to a loss
I remind myself of you
dancing naked in my dreams
I can't count my friends
they would all claim the label
but, there are those I cannot forget
when their souls danced in the room
when the smile appeared without prompting
it's those time I still long for
I saw your hips dance
then took you on the Ferris Wheel
on the top I slipped a hand
you turned and looked into my eyes
I knew that you were living
not dying a little more each day
I will take you tonight
before the dawn arrives
you will know how much
one gaze into your eyes
has meant to my life
in the sweet sauce of a great dream
I will deliver your blue moons
to the doorstep of tomorrow
as our midnight palette
paints a brand new memory
on the canvas of our longings.
Part IV.
"Put your dreams on a silver platter
tell me what it is you're after
sing my songs right back to me
let me feel you endlessly
for when the night time takes over
you will still be my lover
I will hold you in my desert
I won't forsake and I won't measure
all I want is time together
so take me home
take me home"
Once when the light was bright
when the sea-winds whispered "Love"
when the silver moon hung low
in a painted azure sky
I held you in my frail cocoon
Your chestnut hair with highlights
left from the beach day suns
your skin tanned and bronzed
like a magnet pulling me in
until your sweet gaze hypnotized me
held me captive as I wore
a crooked smile
how I longed to strip you naked
let the animal in me take over
but your intention was to tease me
to hold on to something
that was screaming "set me free"
a young man must feed his hunger
or it will own him every waking day
I looked beyond your shoulder
to the sweet lips of the young girls
all of them inviting me in for a taste
today I fight for that same feeling
that love that somehow slipped away
sometimes I can see it riding down a river
or hanging in some summer sky
I have learned that it is all around me
that feeling of bliss that brings on its own high
I can see it in the eyes of my daughters or,
the faces of the children walking by
I found it on New Smyrna Beach
as the sun lifted , the ocean roared
the shorebirds landed
the clouds split the light
until the rays divided
there, in the divinity
of a single moment
I swore I saw you
dancing free in the
morning azure sky
Part V.
I am not a hurricane
my tornado tongue
has been at rest
today I sung to a red sun
dipping behind the ancient bay
blue, forever defying death
soon the Black-eyed Susan's
will paint the hill in yellow
I will walk the same path
that leads me to the river
where my heart bleeds
enough to free my soul
enough to set me free again
so that I may dance below
the summer moons
and chase my dreams
into a peaceful night
when the morning comes
I shall think of you again
remembering the hunger
in your forever eyes
My blood beats to a cadence
as the earth spins its way
towards our destiny
I smile now despite the loss
sure that I have had more
than any man deserves
I cannot be chained
or boxed inside your cage
as the bird flies
so does my spirit
forever free
always moving on
Part V1.
I see you there beyond my dream
in some vague and hazy space
you are dressed in gabardine
your eyes the color of blue moons
I have danced upon your table
stole you heart and walked away
without warning you embraced me
as warm as the summer rain
On this higher ground I call to you
sweet woman of the Eastern Shore
your beauty has been your beast
it was my refuge for some time
I have taken all I wanted
of this life as I have traveled
like some hungry sailor
each day a new adventure
This price I pay for leaving love behind
this solemn trade off that weights my soul
is where I keep you so unattended
like a favorite movie that repeats itself
in my mind throughout the years
I studied you as a scholar would his subject
each detail etched into my memory
the way you walk with your head down in the cold
the way your hands move when you speak
the inflection in your voice when you are anxious
the soft curls of your hair resting on prized shoulders
I have lusted for you and never told you
I walked away before you saw my tears
I am a man who takes his own time
before I am forced by nature to come clean
so dance with me one more time
upon this dream-lit energy
kiss me softly before I sigh
then in the forever-winds
I will call your name
as clouds roll by
in my silence I will
call my life complete.
ajs
My Unfinished Song
In the gravity of my lonely communions
in the wide open spaces of thoughts flying free
I call on the great dominions of every man
that every lived enough to be who he should be
I need the wisdom of the wind to pet my evening
I need to sing the songs of love tonight
for everything that I thought mattered
may not have been important with hindsight
In the triumph after these tribulations
when the west winds remind me of the
fight
as I journey far past my own surrenders
I can only pray that I get it right
That when I called your name it was for reason
that when I held your hand it was for you
that when the call of angels was upon us
it was the greatest gift of all that pulled us through
On the highway of my dreams I am a great survivor
of a man who thought his anger was right
of a woman who knew what love was for
who lived her life shining in its light
so take me down to the lazy river
let me sing this song to the crying moon
when the sun breaks the great horizon
remind me that I will get there soon
Then we can dance the dance of love forever
above the clouds of compromise and claim
where the voice is in the gaze across a table
a thousand words without a sound to tame
when I call you in the dark night from my corner
when you pet my cheek in the silver morn'
the angels will be there upon our shoulders
as we bless the day that our love was born
ajs
Over Hills to Pastel Meadows
T'was once before the break of day when in the silence of a stored cache
there upon my memories ladder one ring above a thought came after
what was once so fine, so well placed, now lay defeated and disgraced
time alone tells tales that ail in winds on shores and tears of shale
they echo off the Cliffs of Dover to be a man now twice passed over
yet a purpose beyond chains that bind can set a man to see once blind
so with the rising sun's new light I curse the day dreams fell from sight
A bench in time meant so much more than the clicking of a closing door
for what becomes of what is gone leaves a man no choice but to move on
there before a break of day eagles wake as children rise to play
when stars fade slowly to blue skies I will find them twinkling in her eyes
her penchant for all things that last now lay in wait in the aftermath
for my dear so well refined you have at last escaped my mind
and travel down this road of life should I be alone or with a wife
I shall think of her and often do in pastel shades of green and blue
I have come to bare the bitter calls of restless souls in nameless halls
always is my will to change the heart that gives its way to rage
the knaves that dance to and fro behind the glass of ebbs and flow
shall not defeat a day at hand, so long as I am my own man
I know not of the journey's worth or why it is that I was birthed
I have no will to go back in time for what is hers is not mine
I break my bread here today goodbye to winds of yesterday
I breathe free air and travel on one more dream to be bygone
with the calling of my own true heart I wish her well and then depart
the night falls down in blues and blacks
never meant for coming back
no, never meant for coming back
ajs
Regarding Black and White
These tribes of thought gathering tracks of non-compliance
this hardware-brain that racks pins waiting on a roll
these wars that internalize their every battle
in the space between the filters of swift change
This discomfort born of silence that makes love to all my fear
here below the hollow moons that tide my changing mind
where the smiles are quite forced and low rewarding
when the phony rises from the ego ashes of refrain
Before I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night
The flowers of my dreams, oh how they die forever slowly
though their beauty got me through some blazing storms
how the children smile when I so gladly greet them
not knowing of the gifts returned to me and more
And when in my silence I declare that I am shameful
for compulsions that have led me fast astray
when I am drawn unto my knees seeking deliverance
may the spirit of my God forgive my impulsed way
As I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night
When the fog is lifted without a good intention
when the path leads me to another shade of black
may I pay my penance in the honesty of shame
until my will returns to lift me once again
And in my travels may I one day hold the sun
just long enough to know I've gone too far
for freedom as it leads to satisfaction
should by all accounts reciprocate itself
When I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night
In the hollows where I parade unfit, so unknowing
in the vestibules between the driving rain
may I sense the beauty of a fragile moment
enough to know the worthiness of light
And when I sleep I pray that I will find tomorrow's journey
to be the beggar of still better things to come
so that the love of life still burning here inside me
leads me to a peaceful death when I am done
When I no longer need the daylight
when I fade forever in the night
ajs
These tribes of thought gathering tracks of non-compliance
this hardware-brain that racks pins waiting on a roll
these wars that internalize their every battle
in the space between the filters of swift change
This discomfort born of silence that makes love to all my fear
here below the hollow moons that tide my changing mind
where the smiles are quite forced and low rewarding
when the phony rises from the ego ashes of refrain
Before I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night
The flowers of my dreams, oh how they die forever slowly
though their beauty got me through some blazing storms
how the children smile when I so gladly greet them
not knowing of the gifts returned to me and more
And when in my silence I declare that I am shameful
for compulsions that have led me fast astray
when I am drawn unto my knees seeking deliverance
may the spirit of my God forgive my impulsed way
As I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night
When the fog is lifted without a good intention
when the path leads me to another shade of black
may I pay my penance in the honesty of shame
until my will returns to lift me once again
And in my travels may I one day hold the sun
just long enough to know I've gone too far
for freedom as it leads to satisfaction
should by all accounts reciprocate itself
When I dance around the daylight
then succumb again to night
In the hollows where I parade unfit, so unknowing
in the vestibules between the driving rain
may I sense the beauty of a fragile moment
enough to know the worthiness of light
And when I sleep I pray that I will find tomorrow's journey
to be the beggar of still better things to come
so that the love of life still burning here inside me
leads me to a peaceful death when I am done
When I no longer need the daylight
when I fade forever in the night
ajs
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Adirondack Angling
Here in the Venice lounge we have no lagoons
we have no gondolas, mountains and lakes are plenty
they silver Sunday afternoons framed by green grass
it rises up towards Placid, where the snow caps into June.
We live in the nub of days, center staged in a cloud's wink
sliding into serpentine streets and dangerous driveways
that lead to hammocks and hell raisers, feeding hounds
that roam fence free along the shore licking life in tail wags.
There is no clear conversation at the morning diner just
updates on where the fish are, obituaries and announcements
no hustle to hassle the soul, you might think we are sleep walking
our world is an oblique obsession where life itself is just that.
In an old Adirondack chair Charley Yeaton blows smoke rings
from a hand carved pipe, they expand and then distort,
resembling his stories drawn from memories of nicks and cuts,
there's rainbow trout on the grill enough for spitting bones
when the beer runs out , we fade away into camouflaged cabins.
Nothing much has changed here since I read my history book
all the world's still an apple pie when seen through Rockwell eyes,
someday we might regress and allow a corporate park
all the city folk will come to fill up cubicles
as motor boats pollute the lakes,
but for now my friend Jonathan still
puts on his jeans and carries his canoe
down the winding path whistling,
before he disappears into a 1950's dream.
ajs
Here in the Venice lounge we have no lagoons
we have no gondolas, mountains and lakes are plenty
they silver Sunday afternoons framed by green grass
it rises up towards Placid, where the snow caps into June.
We live in the nub of days, center staged in a cloud's wink
sliding into serpentine streets and dangerous driveways
that lead to hammocks and hell raisers, feeding hounds
that roam fence free along the shore licking life in tail wags.
There is no clear conversation at the morning diner just
updates on where the fish are, obituaries and announcements
no hustle to hassle the soul, you might think we are sleep walking
our world is an oblique obsession where life itself is just that.
In an old Adirondack chair Charley Yeaton blows smoke rings
from a hand carved pipe, they expand and then distort,
resembling his stories drawn from memories of nicks and cuts,
there's rainbow trout on the grill enough for spitting bones
when the beer runs out , we fade away into camouflaged cabins.
Nothing much has changed here since I read my history book
all the world's still an apple pie when seen through Rockwell eyes,
someday we might regress and allow a corporate park
all the city folk will come to fill up cubicles
as motor boats pollute the lakes,
but for now my friend Jonathan still
puts on his jeans and carries his canoe
down the winding path whistling,
before he disappears into a 1950's dream.
ajs
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After The Rush
We spilled Saturday into Sunday's post parade
Thoroughbred hearts beating around railed bends
hooves pounding with monkey men on our backs
we were in it for the rush, bodies tingling,
headed for a climax with blinders we raced on
into the black night
a lonely lover's stable
we shook our heads
trying hard to sleep
while standing up
ajs
We spilled Saturday into Sunday's post parade
Thoroughbred hearts beating around railed bends
hooves pounding with monkey men on our backs
we were in it for the rush, bodies tingling,
headed for a climax with blinders we raced on
into the black night
a lonely lover's stable
we shook our heads
trying hard to sleep
while standing up
ajs
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My Hobbies
Licking noodles off of cherry strings.
Playing Golf with a Beach Ball in the rain.
Juggling lettuce heads in the shower.
Wrestling with my cat Turbo.
Trying to figure out why fat, old, bald, men hate me.
Hallowing in the hollows of a hurried hurricane
Studying the ups and downs of posterior hemisphere shifts
Looking for a laughs in the legions of letters I never wrote
Playing Golf with a Beach Ball in the rain.
Juggling lettuce heads in the shower.
Wrestling with my cat Turbo.
Trying to figure out why fat, old, bald, men hate me.
Hallowing in the hollows of a hurried hurricane
Studying the ups and downs of posterior hemisphere shifts
Looking for a laughs in the legions of letters I never wrote
Let it Go Let if Flow
SimplyScar
07/03/08
AnneMarie Roberts
07/03/08
Enjoy your holiday weekend!
Hugs~
TinkerBell780
07/02/08
passionsdaughter
07/02/08
Hugs Nicole
Poet In Pink
07/02/08
wordsearcher
07/02/08
MattNJake1
07/02/08
Wishing you a great holiday weekend!
*hugs and love*
TwilightsEcho
07/02/08
Happy Holiday!
Forgive me for my sporadic appearances. (((Hugs)))
With my parents ( and ext. family) in town, I've been busy going to the beach, water-skiing, museums, Taste of Chicago, etc. with them all! Thanks for your understanding my Wonderful Friend!!
AnneMarie Roberts
07/02/08
Hugs~
aussichick
07/01/08
SimplyScar
07/01/08
Thinking of you....
and chocolate...
and stuff..
xoxo,
~Scar
Original comment »
aussichick
06/30/08
have fun.....
Original comment »
PoeticRaine
06/30/08
I hope your Holiday is simply Amazing!!
*Hugs Rox*
suesuesudio
06/30/08
Well, take em off cuz I'd wanna skiddo into one o' yer ocean pix ... wanna hunt fer some shells or scare off a few gullz wid me?
Original comment »
aussichick
06/30/08
fistfullofwords
06/29/08
Hope you have a nice week!
SimplyScar
06/28/08
Just Thinking of You...
Sending Love & Stuff..
~Scar
Original comment »
PoeticRaine
06/28/08
Poet In Pink
06/28/08
Sacred is the Wind
06/28/08
Let it Go Let if Flow